My Grief Once Said…

Taking an unexpected turn with my writing because I found today a difficult day. Some days I’m good, some days I still falter and that’s okay because that’s how you work through grief and trauma.

I love this analogy of grief being like an ocean. There are ebbs and flows that come and go. The hardest part of it is learning how to navigate your way through the turbulence. Often when we are trying to deal with a death we look back at how we dealt with it at another time and while that is a natural instinct our relationships are not usually identical so it shouldn’t s

Grief and fear often feel very similar because one of the things we often fear is death, death of our selves and death of our loved ones. But it is more than that which makes them similar, we deal with things we’re afraid of in a similar fashion to how we deal with grief. This is what I have found in myself at least, we avoid it with our denial, thinking we’ll wake up and it won’t be true. We bargain with ourselves saying if only this or that but we cannot change death and must deal with the grief. And that takes time and there’s no minimum or maximum.

For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who don’t understand, no explanation is possible.

This is something we all need to learn regarding grief is not everyone can understand what or how you’re feeling. They may be able to relate but not everyone and to expect that of those that cannot isn’t fair. Also for those that do not understand there really isn’t any way we can describe what it is that we’re going through. We take comfort where and when we can and hope that tomorrow is easier. That is often all we can do.

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