Christopher John Cornell was born on July 20, 1964 and died on May 18, 2017. Chris was an American singer, songwriter, and musician, best known as the lead vocalist and rhythm guitarist for Soundgarden, founder of Temple of the Dog and Audioslave.
Chris was a songwriter and I believe also someone considered to be a deep thinker. He suffered with depression and addiction for many years of his life which I’m sure helped in writing some of those lyrics we loved hearing from him. I can relate and I wonder what words we’ll never hear because he succumbed to his battle with depression.
This is an ironic quote from Chris regarding people dying before their time and how it affects people. There is sadness when someone passes and especially when it happens when they’re young or when they’re murdered or there was an accident or when they take their own life…anything that takes people or other loved ones away before we expect it greatly impacts us. It can be traumatic and most definitely tragic. I know it’s difficult losing those who we are close to and remember hearing about Chris dying and the circumstances behind his death and feeling lost.
In many ways it marked the beginning of the end in 2017. Many things changed for me in the upcoming months after that. The job I was at for several years as a temp and then was made permanent ended but I started driving cab, Hurricane Harvey hit Corpus Christi, my second marriage along with Gandalf would leave, then I would have to say goodbye to friends and Corpus Christi and go back to Wisconsin.
As I look back on what time back in my home state, I would be faced with the most difficult and challenging times of my life. The trauma I’d face personally with the abuse I went through and the tragic ending to my babies lives would challenge and break me. Believe me when I tell you that I felt broken, I was also terrified but I fought to do what was right for Dexter and Luna. The courts were way to lenient on his punishment for murdering Dexter and for not even bothering to talk to me to investigate more so he would be charged with Luna as well. But I cannot do anything about the outcome. It is done and he is a felon for the rest of his life and I didn’t seal the record so it is public, my documentation is there and I write about it still. Dexter should never have been strangled and beaten and he shouldn’t have did what he did to aid in Luna’s death.
This is why I fight for change, to change laws, to change government, to change many things and to recognize mental illness because what he did had a profound affect on me. I have post traumatic stress disorder which is a bit more than just anxiety and I also suffer with depression at times. I don’t know what it is that pushes people over that edge of sanity to the act, I can tell you that I have thought of it and have attempted my own life but not recently and no not even with the trauma I went through. I am stronger than I think I am, stronger from the trauma and stronger from how I’ve brought myself through it all.
Many people have had jobs in their lives that they’ve hated and we have all done them for good reason. Chris did it for music and while he says that money and success don’t solve your problems which is true to a certain extent I think that money can help. No it won’t buy happiness but it can help you feed yourself, keep you safe and healthy. You will still have the problems you had if you don’t figure a way of dealing with them. Part of the way I’ve dealt with my problems is writing so that someone, an avid reader that struggles with whatever it is can read that shit happens and shit is always going to happen but it’s how we learn how to deal with the shit that helps us grow, survive and thrive in life.
Chester Charles Bennington was born on March 20, 1976 and committed suicide on July 20, 2017 on what would be the birthday of his friend Chris Cornell. Chester was an American singer, songwriter, musician, and actor. He was best known as the lead vocalist for Linkin Park.
Profound statement and would have to agree because personally I have wanted and tried taking time to listen to others and support others when I was struggling myself. For me it was because it helped me to stop thinking about what I was going through at the time and focus on someone and something else. It makes one feel wanted and needed to be able to help another person and I believe I’m very good at it when people have given me that opportunity to help them.
To live in fear of life does make living much more difficult than it already is but I do understand that fear exists and thrives on itself and the instability of people. This is why I have pushed myself, read the books, done therapy, DBT, support groups and many other things to work through the trauma of my life. It is why I write here every single day, to honor Dexter & Luna but most of all in hopes that I touch someones life and help them through their darkness to see what is possible.